Bald Man Jokes

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

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What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Thanks, I'll never part with it."

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

Why is it so hard to get a comb from a bald man?

Because they never part with them

Why did the bald man go outside ?

To get some fresh hair !

Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

A bald man.

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?

A: Because from a distance they looked like hares.

Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb?

A: He couldn't part with it.

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What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Gee, I'll never part with it!

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

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1st he gets nice and wet, then he dies of drowning

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With Little Ceasar's.

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Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

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What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

What did the court jester call the balding crown prince?

The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.

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What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

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Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Why couldn't the auction house find any buyers for the Celtic artifact?

It was completely runed.

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What did captain Kirk do in the head?

He Shatner.

How do you greet a three-headed monster?

Hi, hi, hi.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

A: Darn!

How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch?

One of his fingers is clean

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.

What are you looking for in a car?

I said, "It has to be affordable" He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."