Black Friday Jokes

What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a herd of women on Black Friday?

You gotta Mufasa"

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When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts?

During Black Friday.

Why did the Ferguson protesters not participate in Black Friday?

Because they have already looted everything they would have bought anyway.

Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off?

Ferguson!

What is the worst place to go on Black Friday?

Awnser: Home Depot They have power tools lol

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?

Weasley twins are 50% off

Why does Meek Mill avoid shopping on Black Friday?

Because the stores advertise "Back to Back" savings.

Why did Han go out Black Friday shopping.?

because the prices were Solo

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Solo Jokes More Solo Jokes

What does Metallica's St. Anger and Star Wars VIII have in common?

No solo.

What happened to Han when Chewie wouldn't do the marathon?

He Ran Solo...

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?

The woman in church has hope in her soul.

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb?

The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement

What the difference between a black guy and a donut?

One of them already had a hole before the cop saw it

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army?

To avoid the draft!

Why does Meek Mill avoid shopping on Black Friday?

Because the stores advertise "Back to Back" savings.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What game do they play at Mexican carnivals?

Guaca-mole!

Why... Can't illegal US immigrants play Uno?

Because they keep stealing all the Green Cards

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market?

Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!

Why can't you shop in the UAE?

There's nothing Dubai.

Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

How many Ferguson police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None... they just shoot the room for being black.

How many Ferguson protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None they can't change anything.