Calculate Jokes

How do you calculate a girl's impulse?

F dt bich

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

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Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

What kind of cigarettes do California kids smoke?

Yours.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water ...

Why'd the dog cross the road?

Cause he's a dog.

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

Why do white girls only travel in packs of 3's?

Because omg they can't even.

What's an Irish seven course meal?

A six pack and a potato

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What did the number 0 say to the number 8?

Nice belt. :)

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

What's the highest rated hotel in the world?

Aushwitz, 6 million stars.

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

Calculus Teacher Jokes More Calculus Teacher Jokes

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

What does a calculus teacher say when a student doesn't get it?

Bro, do you even function?

Goodbye Jokes More Goodbye Jokes

How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish?

Adidos!

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!

How was the Roman Empire cut in two?

With a pair of Caesars.