Dead Person Jokes

What do you call a dead person?

Dinner

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box?

Body centered cubic

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

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Skin Jokes More Skin Jokes

What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

How do Canadians take care of their skin?

Maybe it's maple leaf.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

What is the difference between a pack of pygmies and a girls track team?

The pack of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.

Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?

I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

Because he screwed up the delivery...

How did the sad clown smile and laugh again?

They told him his wife died recently.

Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ?

Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake !

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and ferrari ?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What do you get when you take an HIV medication and raise the price 5,000%?

Rich AND famous, apparently

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.