Duct Tape Jokes

When do you use duct tape on a duck?

When he's quacked.

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Whats the best thing about duct tape?

It turns NO! NO! NO! into MMM MMM MMM

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

What's the Best thing about Duct Tape?

It turns Noooo! Noooo! Noooo!......to..... Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Why I love duct tape?

It can turn "No, no no!" into "mmph, mmmph, mmmph"

What is the best thing about duct tape?

It turns no no no into mm mm mmmm.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

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Scotch Jokes More Scotch Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

x-post /r/puns Scotch.

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What can I do you for?

Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare

What do French people do when they don't have bottles of their favourite beverage?

They go to Cannes

Quicksilver Jokes More Quicksilver Jokes

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.

What's Captain America's shield made out of?

What's Captain America's shield made of Vibranium. What's Hawkeye's shield made of Quicksilver.

Duct Jokes More Duct Jokes

How much for that babysitter?

Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

How does the universe throw a party?

They planet.

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they like to keep the mods in the dark.

Why did the wrestlers have to fight in the dark?

A: Their match wouldn't light.

Cupcake Jokes More Cupcake Jokes

When someone says something was made with "love" what exactly does that mean?

Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..

Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?

So they can park in handicapped spaces.