Elton John Jokes

What do Elton John and the Berlin wall have in common?

A lot of young men went over it. And they would cowardly get shot from the back.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between Elton John's chin and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.

What's hit more balls than David Beckham's right foot?

Elton John's chin.

What did Elton John call his tribute to Mother Teresa?

Sandals in the Bin

Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?

They found traces of Mercury in him.

What's pink and sits on a piano chair?

Elton's John

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What's Elton John's favorite kind of conditioner?

Levon.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song?

Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

What did the Queen fans say at the stoning?

We will We will Rock you!

Coma Jokes More Coma Jokes

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?

She went out with the tide.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What did Michael Jackson say to the Vegetables?

Just beet it

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What do you need to drink out of a fruit?

a STRAWberry. ...I'll go...

Why is Princess Peach named after a fruit and Princess Daisy named after a flower?

Because wanting to sound good is their OBJECTion

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of wig can hear ?

An earwig !

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

moo-dicinal

Mercury Jokes More Mercury Jokes

What do you call the mercury mine?

Hg wells

Why did the Anti vaccinator leave the solar system?

Because he found mercury in it.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A drowning epileptic.

How do they all sit?

They turn the stool upside down