Ex Girlfriend Jokes

How do you pick up my ex girlfriend?

With a broom and a dustpan.

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What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and ebola?

At least Ebola will finish me off

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend?

Auschwitz

What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common?

the resistance of both drop when doped.

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?

The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

What did the blue crab call his ex girlfriend?

Old Bay

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Dope Jokes More Dope Jokes

What's the difference between a doe and dope?

One's gotta pee.

What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common?

the resistance of both drop when doped.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What is something a woman hates about a man but a man would love about a woman?

Premature ejactulation.

Why don't tennis players ever get married?

Because love means nothing to them.

Resistance Jokes More Resistance Jokes

Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?

Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance

What do you call a love story between resistance and energy?

Omhmeo and Jouleiet

Spotlight Jokes More Spotlight Jokes

What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights?

Drive faster.

Why do primates do so well in show biz?

Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why do ostriches have long necks?

Because their heads are so far from their bodies!

Why does our body absorb Strontium?

To make our bones stronger

Maryland Jokes More Maryland Jokes

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What two states are opposites?

A: Maryland and Misury

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do you get when you drop a baby into a wood chipper?

Well an erection of course.

What is the best thing about dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What's the best part about getting head from an infant?

Watching the soft spot move.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!