Ex Girlfriend Jokes

How do you pick up my ex girlfriend?

With a broom and a dustpan.

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What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and ebola?

At least Ebola will finish me off

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend?

Auschwitz

What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common?

the resistance of both drop when doped.

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?

The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

What did the blue crab call his ex girlfriend?

Old Bay

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Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive?

A: Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Why can't woman drive?

Because there are no roads from the bedroom to the kitchen!!

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What's the difference between my ex and my toaster?

It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.

What do you call an ex-Muslim?

A Waslim

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a colander on his head?

COLIN! Duh!!!

What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ?

Petal !

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How do bunny rabbits like their beer brewed?

With lots of hops!

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long?

Because as soon as they start they get fired.

Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job?

Because he had a crack addiction.

Silicon Jokes More Silicon Jokes

What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common?

the resistance of both drop when doped.

What did Silicon say to Germenaium ?

Got dope

Maryland Jokes More Maryland Jokes

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What two states are opposites?

A: Maryland and Misury

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love?

If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.

What flower loves to be in the sun?

Sunflower.