Ex Girlfriend Jokes

How do you pick up my ex girlfriend?

With a broom and a dustpan.

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What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and ebola?

At least Ebola will finish me off

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend?

Auschwitz

What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common?

the resistance of both drop when doped.

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?

The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

What did the blue crab call his ex girlfriend?

Old Bay

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Resistance Jokes More Resistance Jokes

What did Borg say to Georg Ohm?

Resistance is futile."

Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?

Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV?

Sir, you dropped your receipt!"

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?

Because she ran away from the ball!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What happened to the fireman who let the house burn?

He got fired.

Why are stick people extinct?

Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How does a black women know if she's pregnant?

All the cotton on her tampon has been picked off.

What's the difference between a van and a minivan?

A van picks up kids. A minivan picks up your kids

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

How many dead babies can you fit in a phone booth?

78.5

What's 12" long, rock hard in the morning, and makes a woman cry?

A dead baby.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb?

A: A fish!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What cars do wolves drive?

Auuuuuuuuuuuuudis!

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

Maryland Jokes More Maryland Jokes

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What two states are opposites?

A: Maryland and Misury