Failure Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

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What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster?

a failure!

What do you call a dead asian?

A failure

What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure?

A defetus

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

What should you call a polite friendly kind good looking monster?

A failure.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

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Accept Jokes More Accept Jokes

Who was the first black person accepted into Harvard University?

The Janitor

Why do Asian woman have small breasts?

Because her parents accept nothing less than an A.

Pregnant Girl Jokes More Pregnant Girl Jokes

What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone didn't pull it out in time.

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why will the ghost never succeed in life?

He's too eeriesponsible!!!!

Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house?

His life was at stake. Badum psh.

Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper?

A seasoned veteran.

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

Band Jokes More Band Jokes

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

What do you call four white guys in a band?

The 4Skins

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off?

A 15 yard penalty.

What do you do when your mother-in-law is swaying towards you?

You pull the trigger again.

Bereave Jokes More Bereave Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

What did Naruto say at his mentor'a funeral?

Bereave it.

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy?

Smelly beans!