Free Jokes

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed ?!?!?"

How did the turtle with no arms and no legs cross the freeway?

Here's a hint: take the F out of Free and take the F out of Way

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?"

How did the 3 legged frog get across the 4 lane freeway?

Take the F out of Free, and the F out of way and you'll have your answer.

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a two week drunk?

I freed what

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

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Bbq Jokes More Bbq Jokes

Why should you never BBQ on your roof?

The steaks are too high.

How do you know when there's a vegetarian at your bbq?

They'll tell you.

Quadriplegic Jokes More Quadriplegic Jokes

What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

What did the sorting hat say to the quadriplegic?

Stay here, I'll just go on ahead.

Fish Tank Jokes More Fish Tank Jokes

What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ?

A fish tank !

How did the aquarium win the battle?

Giant Fish Tanks.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

Why did the leper return to the shower?

He forgot his head and shoulders.

Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other unemployed cancer cell?

Let's get Jobs. Found in the comments of a post by

Why are white prisoners scarier than black prisoners?

The white guy might actually be guilty. (Stolen from a comment by )

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What do you call a line of black people?

A chocolate bar

What do you call the line at a Vietnamese restaurant?

Pho queue!

I Pad Jokes More I Pad Jokes

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple

What's 9 and a half inches long and satisfies all c*nts?

An iPad.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil?

One's a fruit, you idiot.

How does an idiot call for his dog?

He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.