Facebook Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit and Facebook?

About a day

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

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How did realism get me banned from Facebook?

I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.

What Slenderman doesnt have?

Facebook.

What is Facebook?

Its a Place where Boy posts a JOKE and Gets no Response & If a Girl Posts the same JOKE , She gets Hundreds of likes , comments and Friend Requests and Lots of PM's .

When you realise your friend is an idiot" Stories!?

Hey guys, I just recently found out that my friend is an idiot. I was talking with him on Facebook and I was telling him about this game that was free online, and he says "I'm on my way to see my girlfriend". I'm sorry but WHAT? well I have a fish tank. Feel free to comment down below your stories about how you realised your friend is an idiot.

How does a Facebook employee greet each other?

Hey there, whatsapp!!

What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

Whatsapp & Facebook?

My Dad:We used to keep useless information to ourselves.

Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why couldn't the lumberjack sign into Facebook?

Because he was logged out!

What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

How do you now when somebody is retarded on Facebook?

Well, its complicated.

What did you do?

Genocide. You " "I shared a 10 Funniest Autocorrect FAILS on Facebook." - Conversations in Hell

What if you go missing?

How do you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on Facebook.

What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

Why is Reddit different from Facebook?

removed

Why is Facebook such a hit?

It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own'.

How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook?

With his EyePhone

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

Whatsapp &amp?

Facebook?

Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual?

Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad.

Whats the difference between Facebook and Reddit?

About two hours.

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

Why do people post missing person posts on Facebook?

Like we're going outside...

What I hated the most in Facebook?

See more

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the prognosis, Doc?

DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT ! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

What did you get 100 in?

Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add !

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

Why did the storm trooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why couldn't the blonde make icecubes?

because she lost the recipe.

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be....."

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )

Why shouldn't you be friends with a broken clock?

Because it won't even give you the time of day.

Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

Why are white prisoners scarier than black prisoners?

The white guy might actually be guilty. (Stolen from a comment by )

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

What do you call a child with no friends?

A target