Goldfish Jokes

What is the most expensive type of fish?

A goldfish! I am not sorry.

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What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.

What do you call a fish that's worth a lot of money?

A goldfish!

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

Why are rabbits never gold?

How would you tell them apart from goldfish

What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around in fountains.

What fish is the most valuable?

A goldfish.

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What does a duck like to have for breakfast?

Quacker Oats

Why don't oysters like to share?

Because they're shellfish.

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What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios?

Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!

Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school?

A: She wanted to be a nurse.

Attention Jokes More Attention Jokes

What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar?

AU"

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

What do you call three rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

What's worse than 9/11?

311 Credit goes to my friend Max.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

Muck Jokes More Muck Jokes

What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.

What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around in fountains.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the flower say when she was begged not to tell a secret?

Chrysanthemum's the word.

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.