Honeydew Jokes

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?

I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe."

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Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

Why was the baby Honeydew sad?

Because it was Meloncholic

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

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What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Runaway Melon Jokes More Runaway Melon Jokes

What did the plant say to the runaway melons in love?

You cantelope!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

Feyonc

Why did the stoner go to the chapel?

To marry Jane

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Watermelon Jokes More Watermelon Jokes

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money."

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?

Joint Family.

What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out.