Watermelon Jokes

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?

I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?

Well the first noticeable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

What is the difference between 400 dead babies and a watermelon?

I don't have a watermelon in my garage.

Why do watermelons have water in Them?

Because they are planted in the spring!

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

Whats the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon

Whats the difference between a watermelon and baby?

One's really fun to smash with a sledge-hammer and the other is just a watermelon

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

What do you call a watermelon in California?

A melon

How do you get the water in a watermelon?

Plant it in the spring.

Why can't watermelons get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money."

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What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

A: But you cantaloupe!

Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall?

So he could see her crack....

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What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction?

Please sir, I want some moors.

What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

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What is the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

Taste Jokes More Taste Jokes

Why does duck taste better than turkey?

Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.

What does it taste like to go down on a little old lady?

Depends

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What do you call a black guy in a museum?

Antique farm equipment

What do you say to a black guy selling drugs?

What did you think it would be, you racist?

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

Homer Simpson Jokes More Homer Simpson Jokes

How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart?

He desperately needed Apu.