Watermelon Jokes

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?

I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe."

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Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?

Well the first noticeable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

What is the difference between 400 dead babies and a watermelon?

I don't have a watermelon in my garage.

Why do watermelons have water in Them?

Because they are planted in the spring!

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

Whats the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon

Whats the difference between a watermelon and baby?

One's really fun to smash with a sledge-hammer and the other is just a watermelon

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How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

What do you call a watermelon in California?

A melon

How do you get the water in a watermelon?

Plant it in the spring.

Why can't watermelons get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money."

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What's the worst thing about running 100 meters in less than 10 seconds?

Being black.

What does a musician train do when running from the law?

Covers tracks

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What did the priest say when watering his garden?

Let us spray.

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Where does Santa stash his money?

In a snowbank.

Which boxer did Darth Vader put his money on in the fight?

The Thai fighter

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

Sledge Hammer Jokes More Sledge Hammer Jokes

What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and baby?

One's really fun to smash with a sledge-hammer and the other is just a watermelon

Mr & Jokes More Mr & Jokes

Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall?

So he could see her crack....

What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

A: But you cantaloupe!