Include Jokes

What's the most environmentally friendly subreddit?

Everything there is recycled, including this post.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

Why do batteries feel lonely?

Because they are never included in anything.

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

What's your favorite Andrew "Dice" Clay Joke?

Including dirty nursery rhymes.

What state do most people live in?

Denial. Myself included.

What do dads never forget to include in their "dad" jokes?

PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave.

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

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Square Root Jokes More Square Root Jokes

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

Why did the mathematician get an F on his English quiz?

He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."

Ideal Weight Jokes More Ideal Weight Jokes

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

Denial Jokes More Denial Jokes

What state do most people live in?

Denial. Myself included.

What should I say?

Someone just said I'm in denial But I'm not

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

How do you tell if you've posted an anitjoke in /r/Jokes?

If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes.

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

Urn Jokes More Urn Jokes

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the blondes left leg say to her right?

Nothing... They've never met

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

3 Pound Jokes More 3 Pound Jokes

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

What is the proper weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds .......not counting the urn!

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What do you get when you mix batteries and water?

Watt-er

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/