Japanese People Jokes

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

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What do Japanese people do when they have erections?

Vote!

What do Japanese people do during an erection?

They go to the polls and vote.

Why are Japanese people so good at judo?

You can't ippon a Nippon.

How do Japanese people ask for rice?

Samurais?

Why do Japanese people have slanty eyes?

Atomic bombs are realllllly bright.

How do Japanese people refer to American politicians?

Parti-san

What sport do Japanese people watch?

Desuball

What type of pants do Japanese people wear?

Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)

What do you call a group of Japanese people running up a hill?

Tsunami Warning

Why do Japanese people love mechs so much?

Because of all the metal in their brains.

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What do Japanese people call.. -What do Japanese people call their japs eye?

My eye

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

Why are Japanese people all skinny?

Because of their national diet.

Why do Japanese people squint?

Nuclear explosions are bright

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures?

Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

What do you call Japanese people that fly planes?

Pirates.

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Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What type of monster really loves dance music?

A: The boogieman.

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

How does Dracula like to have his food served?

In bite-sized pieces.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of bankers?

A Wunch

How do cows move in groups?

Si-MOO-taniously

Apology Jokes More Apology Jokes

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

What is the term for a group of Canadians?

Is it "an apology" "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why do so many American kids die in school shootings?

They're not allowed to run in the halls.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

What food describes most men?

Jerky.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

When does a Smurf pull his pants down?

Once in a blue moon.

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?

Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.