Max Jokes

Why is Max always late?

hey guys be here at 8:15 pm, max 8:30"

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What do you call a man wearing two rain jackets?

Max

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

What does Max have now?

Diabetes.

What's worse than 9/11?

311 Credit goes to my friend Max.

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained?

Please! I in cyst!

What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

You have tumor months to live.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions?

Onions" was his dog... D:

How do you call a dog that likes to be on the Internet?

A Labragoogle.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

Coo.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?

They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

Why was 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

They're married.

Why didn't the hippie save the drowning swimmer?

He was too far out man

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March?

Spring break!

What is a whale's favorite song?

Shout.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face.

What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches?

Because they're pirots!

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

Why have you parked your bus here?

Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."