Minute Ago Jokes

Why did the coffee taste like mud?

It was ground a few minutes ago.

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What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees?

A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)

What's happened to this one?

I don't know two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Why is the men's room always located to the left?

Because women are always right.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Why did the girl reject the landfill owner?

His place is a dump

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

What happens when a pizzaman does an AMA on Reddit?

OP delivers.

Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman?

He never delivered.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

How do you make a Whiskey Sour?

Crush it's hopes and dreams.

What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?

Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)

What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

It blew up

Mud Jokes More Mud Jokes

How do vampire football players get the mud off?

They all get in the bat-tub.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?

Because he was a dirty double crosser.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice 'gnawing' you!

Beautiful Girl Jokes More Beautiful Girl Jokes

What do you call a beautiful girl in Boston?

A tourist.

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"