Monastery Jokes

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?

Nun.

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What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

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Why did the boxer date the pretty girl?

Because she was a knockout!

Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone?

Me: I peed my pants.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there

How do you fit 10 Amish in a VW Beetle?

A:Tell them you are going to the livestock auction

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?

A dislocated hipster.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

Why did the dad say the joke instead of act it out?

Because it was cheesier said than done.

What did the right testlcle say to the left?

Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard

Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many mathematician does it take to change a lightbulb?

pi

How many menstruating women does it take to change a lightbulb?

That's not funny.

Habit Jokes More Habit Jokes

Why do monks wear such plain clothes?

It's a habit.

Why do Nuns always wear the same thing?

It's a habit.

Unlock Jokes More Unlock Jokes

What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI?

My Grandma can unlock an iphone.

How do you unlock a monastery door?

With a monk key.