Monastery Jokes

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?

Nun.

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What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

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Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

What is green and sits crying in the corner?

The incredible Sulk.

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

Pretty Girl Jokes More Pretty Girl Jokes

What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl?

sometimes i get the joke.

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?

Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.

Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?

A: The balls are lighter and you don't have to change shoes.

How many tweekers does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on which method you try....

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

What would you call a terrorist organisation run by wielders of the dark side of the force?

ISITH

Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water?

She was taking god's name in vein.

What do you call two nuns playing a bongo?

A conundrum.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How many disappointments can you fit into a van?

I don't know, I can't get them outside of the house.

How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits.