Monastery Jokes

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?

Nun.

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What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.

How many refs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They only screw playoff games

Unlock Jokes More Unlock Jokes

What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI?

My Grandma can unlock an iphone.

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What's the art of having multiple personalities?

Acting

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

Habit Jokes More Habit Jokes

Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

a force of habit

Pretty Girl Jokes More Pretty Girl Jokes

Why did the boxer date the pretty girl?

Because she was a knockout!

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

Why do people with the Flu stand in corners?

Its always 90 Degrees

Attachment Jokes More Attachment Jokes

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments