Ninja Jokes

How does a ninja say hi?

It doesn't

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What did the ninja say to the waiter when asked what to drink?

The ninja replies with "Wata!"

What do you call it when a ninja keeps something to himself?

A sneakret.

Why did the ninja go to college?

He wanted to be a ninja-neer.

What is a Ninja's favorite beverage?

Karatea From Fargo Ep. 2

What do you call a group that only wants a Ninja?

Goad-diggers.

What does a ninja and a muslim woman have in common?

They're both invisible.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a ninja?

Pork Chop!

What does Bill Cosby and a ninja have in common?

You don't see either one coming.

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*

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Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What is a carpenters dream girl?

What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

How many dislexic mods does it take to screw a lightbulb ?

Remodve

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

How many A.D.D. kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Look a squirrel!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat?

Damn E-mails!

What file archiver do Tigers use?

Win-Rawr.

Qualify Jokes More Qualify Jokes

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

What qualifies as a "short stack" of pancakes?

I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right Yes Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack.

Scene Jokes More Scene Jokes

What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

an innocent bystumbler

Why did the director get kicked out of the bar?

He was making a scene!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.