Pinnochio Jokes

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

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What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What secret organization does Pinnochio work for?

Wooden you like to know

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Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

Why do men get erections while they sleep?

So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.

What is the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's do pot and pusssy have in common?

You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.

What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS?

Acting surprised.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?

So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa.

What's Irish and sits outside?

Paddy O'furniture

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do aspirins work?

Because they're white.

Why black people can't be seen in black and white movies?

Becuase they're working in the mine.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

How do you make a Whiskey Sour?

Crush it's hopes and dreams.

Disney Jokes More Disney Jokes

Who's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney princess?

Sleeping Beauty

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

Forest Jokes More Forest Jokes

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?

Because she was a litter bug.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

How does an attorney go to sleep?

First he lies on one side, then the other!!