Woodpecker Jokes

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

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Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

How do you get a tree pregnant?

With a woodpecker

Why did the owl owl ?

Because the woodpecker would peck 'er !

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

How do you tell a boy tree from a girl tree?

Boy trees have woodpeckers.

What did the woodpecker say to the doughnut?

You got the sweetest hole I ever stuck my pecker in.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?

A headbanger !

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Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Beak Jokes More Beak Jokes

What is it?

It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow

What's a young birds favourite game?

BEAK A BOO!

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?

An alarm cluck !

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

Pecker Jokes More Pecker Jokes

Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?

The rest are hunting peckers.

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.

Forest Jokes More Forest Jokes

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

How do crazy people make it through a forest?

They take the psycho-path.

Message Jokes More Message Jokes

What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese women?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

How does a farmer send messages?

By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?

Someone who knocks on your door at 6 a.m. for no reason.

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it?

Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross an orthodontist and a secret agent?

It's confi-dental

What do you get when you cross Christmas and a Duck?

A Christmas-Quacker!