Forest Jokes

What does a mathematicion find in a forest?

A natural log.

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What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

How do really crazy people get through the forest?

Via the psycho path.

What is the wettest animal in the forest?

The raindeer.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

Where would you find more Leifs than in a forest?

Valhalla.

Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

How do crazy people go thru the forest?

They take the Psycho path.

What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest?

uuuuuUuuuUUUUuuuuuuuUuUUUuuuuuuuuuU

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Why does the forest stink during a storm?

Because the trees break wind.

How does an insane man get through the forest?

By taking the psychopath. hhhhehehhehe good one right? yeh? no..? ok.

How far can you walk into the forest?

Halfway, when you walk further then you will walk out of the forest! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?

Ewoks

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

Which film star is always jumping around the forest?

John Treevaulter.

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?

They Take The Psycho Path

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?

Because she was a litter bug.

What do you call a fallen tree in a forest?

Natural log. Sorry about the math joke.

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

What is the poorest tree in the forest?

The burr-oak tree.

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?

Hiking

What do you call an agreement between forests?

A treety

Which way do insane people take when they go through the forest?

A: The psycho path.

How does a crazy person walk through the forest?

He takes the psychopath.

How do crazy people make it through a forest?

They take the psycho-path.

What did the doe say as she came out of the forest?

I'll never do that for 5 bucks again.

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The ones that are hot don't last as long

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Ones for coming and ones for going.

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How did the crazy man get across the forrest?

He took the psycho path. ( )

How do crazy people get through the forrest?

They take the psycho path.

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Why did the man wear a frog for a condom?

So he was ribbit for her pleasure.

What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?

Puss in boots !

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What are you?

Broke.

What would have to break to give you 18?

a condom

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Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

Why did the owl owl ?

Because the woodpecker would peck 'er !

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2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What do you say when Kim Kardashian burns to the ground?

Look at all that ash...

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How do crazy people go thru the forest?

They take the Psycho path.

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Why did the music critic compare the song to a foul-mouthed mixture of sand and wind?

Because it was Da-rude Sandstorm

What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin?

Santa Ana