Pretzel Jokes

What does a guy from Philly dunk his pretzel in?

a girl from Jersey.

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What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?

Well, that was an unexpected twist!

How do you like it?

Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt Get outta the gutter pervs

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

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Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

A: Elephants never forget.

What do you say to Aziz Ansari when you forget his birthday?

Aziz, I'm sorry.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

How do you get even with Hellen Keller?

Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller Leave the plunger in the toilet

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

What's the difference between golf and Lady Godiva?

One is a hunt on a course.

How do you help a choking pig?

With the Ham-Lick maneuver of course

Outta Jokes More Outta Jokes

When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?

and the other lawyer replies, "Outta what "

How do you like it?

Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt Get outta the gutter pervs

Dunk Jokes More Dunk Jokes

How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

Knot Jokes More Knot Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

What's a sailor's favorite kind of knot?

It's a tie.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why isn't the guy who wrote "Danger Zone" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media?

He forgot his Loggins

What is the difference between christianity and national socialism?

In christianity, one guy died for all the others.

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

Why is six afraid lf seven?

Because seven just came back from a trip to West Africa.