Second Place Jokes

What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics?

Not being retarded

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What did Orion receive when he won second place in the archery contest?

The constellation prize.

What do a Catholic Priest and second place have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

What does a priest and a second place runner have in common?

NSFW) They both came in a little behind.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

Getting out of the bed!

What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight?

A: Don't look I'm changing!!

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How about a dirty one as well?

Want to hear a clean joke? Bob took a bath. With Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? (Punchline hidden so you don't accidentally read)

What is a mouse's favourite game ?

Hide and squeak !

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Where is the best place to buy computer software?

Washington C.D

Where's the best place to apologise to someone?

Surrey.

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What is the most searched word on Bing?

Google.

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the knife say to the pretty lady?

Nothing, she knew what was coming...

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

Catholic Priest Jokes More Catholic Priest Jokes

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

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Why would a Catholic priest start practicing at a prison?

He ran out of little boys

How do you insult a Catholic?

Any way you like, they have to forgive you!

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?

She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.