Sunni Jokes

How do the Muslims like their eggs cooked?

Sunni side up. I know this is a Shiite joke.

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What's a Muslim's favorite TV show?

It's always sunni in Philadelphia

How do Muslims cook their eggs?

Sunni side up.

How does ISIL prefer their eggs?

Sunni side up at first. But they always end up scrambled.

What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS?

They really scared the Shiite outa me!

How do you tell the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite Muslim?

The Sunni's are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Why can't Shia Joe travel in eastern Pennsylvania?

Because it's always Sunni in Philadelphia.

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Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler?

How red their necks are.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

What is the preferred drink for people in St. Cloud?

Mini Soda

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

Global Warming Jokes More Global Warming Jokes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

What does the future hold?

Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even.

Effect Jokes More Effect Jokes

What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?

A: Everything's $100.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

What kind of dog is this?

Well actu.." "Hes cute" *pets it* "Sir thats my.." *picks it up* "Your a good dog arent you " "PUT MY SON DOWN"

One Jokes More One Jokes

What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ?

Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !

What are the sickest rock layers?

The ones with diabases.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?

I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a marathon full of feminists?

The tribe of pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.