Chocolate Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

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How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?

Malteasers

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?

A runny bunny.

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

How can you tell God is a man?

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

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What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Hershey Jokes More Hershey Jokes

What does Rick Ross say after opening a pack with only Hershey's in it?

Ain't no merci

What do you call transgender Hershey's chocolate?

Himshey's chocolate...

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?

Red Red Wine!

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

Why is that?

Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk?

Udderly useless.

Why do you take baths in milk?

I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why couldn't anyone trust the snowman to do anything?

He was kinda flakey

Why can't you trust anything MATTER says?

Because it makes up everything.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who throws letters in the fire?

Bernadette

Whats the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Chocolate Milk Jokes More Chocolate Milk Jokes

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What do you call a bar in Star Wars?

A space bar.

Why did the emo kid leave the bar?

It was happy hour.