Chocolate Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

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How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?

Malteasers

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?

A runny bunny.

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

How can you tell God is a man?

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

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What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Chewbacca Jokes More Chewbacca Jokes

What do Han and Chewbacca use to communicate?

A wookiee talkie.

Where does Chewbacca research his college essays?

Wookiepedia

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

Easter Eggs Jokes More Easter Eggs Jokes

How do you make a chocolate omelette?

With Easter Eggs!

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose" -Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when... what do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?

a rhetorical answer

What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?

Squeaky clean clothes.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

What time is it in Brazil?

Oh, it's 7 past Cesar

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What does Light Yagami drink at the bar?

Tekira!

What's black and always behind bars?

Guinness (You bunch of racists)

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Which Greek God loved to collect animals?

Zoos

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What sound does a Baroque chicken make?

Bach Bach Bach Bach