Chocolate Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?

Malteasers

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?

A runny bunny.

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

How can you tell God is a man?

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

Why don't you ever wear your hair down?

Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So Me: I don't want to encourage that.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

How do you milk sheep?

A: With iPhone accessories.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What did the Devil say to the being that sold its soul to him?

Nice doing business with you!"

What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer?

Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

How did the Ethiopian escape prison?

He squeezed through the bars.

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

Easter Eggs Jokes More Easter Eggs Jokes

How do you make a chocolate omelette?

With Easter Eggs!

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose" -Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

Why can't you trust a garbage man who loves his job?

Because he's always talking trash.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do scientists look for things twice?

A: Because they research everything.

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?

He got snowden.

What workout routine did Jesus stick to best?

Crossfit