Chocolate Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

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How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?

Malteasers

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?

A runny bunny.

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

How can you tell God is a man?

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

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What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Physics Teacher Jokes More Physics Teacher Jokes

Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting?

They didn't have any chemistry.

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What does the man say when he walks into the bar?

Can I please get a drink "

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Chewbacca Jokes More Chewbacca Jokes

How do you know when the Star Wars characters are safe?

Because they got Chewbacca

What does Han Solo call a sick Chewbacca?

A Chewie

Physics Jokes More Physics Jokes

What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They don't need to, they glow in the dark...

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What does a pimp and a redneck have on common?

They both like to throw a ho-down.

How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the only thing worse than a worm in your apple?

Reposts

What's the last thing someone wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."