Christmas Jokes

What does the kid with no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

What did Jamal get for Christmas?

Your Bike

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?

They both want tablets for Christmas.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

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Martin Luther King Jokes More Martin Luther King Jokes

What would Martin Luther King be if he was white?

Alive. He would be alive.

Why does Martin Luther King like jam?

Because God bless America

Day Christmas Jokes More Day Christmas Jokes

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Aryan Jokes More Aryan Jokes

How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial?

He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

What is the favorite Christmas Carol of the Aryan brotherhood?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

What do ghosts wear?

Boo Jeans

What gives a ghost the right to haunt people?

A haunting license

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm?

One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes "Damn!" A bad skydiver goes "Damn!"

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

A: Women!

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

What happened to the ghost who went to a party?

He had a wail of a time.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!