Christmas Jokes

What does the kid with no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

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What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

What did Jamal get for Christmas?

Your Bike

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?

They both want tablets for Christmas.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

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Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says, "Hey you, get offa' my cloud." A Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get offa' my ewe."

Merry Christmas Jokes More Merry Christmas Jokes

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What did the testicle say to the other testicle?

Between you and me, I think something's up." I'm slightly tipsy, this is probably a terrible joke. Merry Christmas!

Day Christmas Jokes More Day Christmas Jokes

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

How did Reddit not fell down yet?

I mean, it is only hanging by threads...

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are campers so predictable?

You know they're in tents.

What do you call a werewolf that knows it's a werewolf?

A self-awarewolf.

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?

Black mail !

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?

Christmas Adam

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice 'gnawing' you!

What do you call trees that grow in Tobago?

Tobogany.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...