Cia Jokes

How did Bourne send data to the CIA?

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What do you call a CIA agent that nobody cares about?

Li Yung

What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party?

Shot in the head in Dallas.

What do you call a former CIA agent when a winter storm hits?

Snowed-in

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed?

Looks like we got a tail.

What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

Dallas Jokes More Dallas Jokes

Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team?

Because then Dallas would want one too.

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?

A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I dont know and I dont care.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What do you call a creamsicle in Russia?

A hammer and cream-sickle

What's the difference between Texas and Russia?

One's a disgusting cesspool full of paranoid, bigoted, anti-American sadists, and the other is really cold.

Snow Jokes More Snow Jokes

How are women like snow?

They seem really cool at first but then you're sick of them after a couple days and no one wants to be driving when they're on the road

What do you call a business man that blocks snow?

A cold wall banker.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a SJW and Jason Voorhees?

Social justice.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Cia Agent Jokes More Cia Agent Jokes

What do you call a former CIA agent when a winter storm hits?

Snowed-in

What do you call a CIA agent that nobody cares about?

Li Yung