Cia Jokes

How did Bourne send data to the CIA?

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What do you call a CIA agent that nobody cares about?

Li Yung

What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party?

Shot in the head in Dallas.

What do you call a former CIA agent when a winter storm hits?

Snowed-in

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed?

Looks like we got a tail.

What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What does a cab driver have in common with a pool cue ball?

The harder you hit them, the more english you get out.

Why couldn't the rocketeer hit her target?

Because they were too Phar-ah way. I'm not sorry.

Grocery Jokes More Grocery Jokes

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

the GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?

A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Bye, son.

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Datum Jokes More Datum Jokes

How do druggies store their data?

LSD Cards.

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

Dallas Jokes More Dallas Jokes

What do Dallas Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?

They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!

Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team?

Because then Dallas would want one too.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets?

They ain't private ears. (I don't care if a six year old came to this first thirty years ago, it just came to me.)

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*

What do snowmen wear on their heads ?

Ice caps !