G Jokes

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

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Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the G.

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?

Automobile.

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What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

How do you make one girl disappear?

just add a G and now she's gone.

How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

What does a Sparkle magazine model call her g-spot?

Her glitterus

This joke may have profanity.

Why did H blow itself up?

Because G had.

Why the letter "G" is scary?

In one fine evening it can turn your host into . . . GHOST.

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

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Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What do you call an Australian who's prejudiced against grains?

A riceist. (It sounds better when you say it aloud)

What did the Australian say when he won a game of chess?

Cheers, mate.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

What do driving and dating have in common?

Both end up with you being chased by the police if you go too fast.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How do you go about hiring a horse?

Try two pairs of stilts!

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

Sally Jokes More Sally Jokes

Why did Sally fall of the swing?

Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally :)

Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

Capital Jokes More Capital Jokes

What's the capital of brazil?

My daughter: that's a secret

Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY?

Student -"in Swiss Banks".. :P :D lolx

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a convertable?

I keep one in my garage and one in my closet. Edit:typo.

What's the difference between a fort and a fortress?

A fortress has breastworks.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's long and hard?

The sock under my bed.

How did Jared lose 150lbs?

He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed.

Snap Jokes More Snap Jokes

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Why did Ginger go to the psych ward?

Ginger snaps