G Jokes

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

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Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the G.

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?

Automobile.

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What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

How do you make one girl disappear?

just add a G and now she's gone.

How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

What does a Sparkle magazine model call her g-spot?

Her glitterus

This joke may have profanity.

Why did H blow itself up?

Because G had.

Why the letter "G" is scary?

In one fine evening it can turn your host into . . . GHOST.

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

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Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

How did blind slaves escape the South?

The Underground Braille-road

How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb?

X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key.

Capital Jokes More Capital Jokes

What do you call someone in the army that knows the capital of every country on earth?

General Knowledge

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

because the capital is always Dublin!

Friendzone Jokes More Friendzone Jokes

Why do bronies get so upset about the friendzone?

I thought friendship was magic

What do you say when you friendzone a brony?

Friendship is magic.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How do you make a small fortune in the movie industry?

You spend a large fortune

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Snap Jokes More Snap Jokes

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

Why did Ginger go to the psych ward?

Ginger snaps

Golf Ball Jokes More Golf Ball Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Hypocrisy Jokes More Hypocrisy Jokes

What is the difference between a feminist and a machist?

The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.

How do you spell hypocrisy?

R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

How do you get the guitar player off of your porch?

Pay for the pizza.