G Jokes

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

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Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the G.

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?

Automobile.

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What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

How do you make one girl disappear?

just add a G and now she's gone.

How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

What does a Sparkle magazine model call her g-spot?

Her glitterus

This joke may have profanity.

Why did H blow itself up?

Because G had.

Why the letter "G" is scary?

In one fine evening it can turn your host into . . . GHOST.

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

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G Sus Jokes More G Sus Jokes

What's a Christian's favourite guitar chord?

G-sus

What is the holiest chord?

G sus

B Jokes More B Jokes

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?

You better C or you'll B

Sally Jokes More Sally Jokes

What does Sally have?

Cancer.

Why did the IT Admin marry Sally?

She had a 19" rack.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

Because he said Punch's line.

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

What was Beethoven's favorite food?

BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

What happens when your scrotum touches the edge of the toilet bowl?

Ebowla.

Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

What happened when Apple added the new touchbar?

They're taking away functions, and there's no escape.

Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet?

Because it was a sewer side mission!

N Jokes More N Jokes

Why do white people think they can say the N word?

Because it is the only thing left that still belongs to black people.

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.