Hertz Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!"

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What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked?

It Hertz.

What is the problem with high frequency?

It Hertz

How does Avis feel to be #2?

It Hertz

What happens when you get hit by a rental car?

It Hertz.

How do you measure love?

In hertz!

What does an electric engineer say when they get kicked in the balls?

Owch! it hertz

What's the only painful car rental company?

Hertz.

What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?

Ow, this really hertz.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

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Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What did Cinderella say before she got to the ball?

Aghagghhghgagaggag (Those are supposed to be gagging noises)

What do a Christmas tree and a sterile man have in common?

Their balls are for decoration only.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What the problem?

Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "

How many republicans does it take to fix a problem?

No one knows. It's never happened.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed?

The console. What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray.

What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

What's the biggest fish you ever caught?

That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes "

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do calculus students feel about undefined slopes in Cartesian planes?

Indifferential.

How did the midget feel when he found out he was retarded?

A little Down.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What do you call a punch that can knock out 40 first graders?

A Sandy Hook

Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding?

Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call two couches that are in love with each other?

Homosectionals.

Why do rednecks love sandwiches?

Because they're inbred too.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

How do u castrate a priest ?

Kick the alter boy in the chin )

What's the difference between a Brit and an American?

The Brit got kicked out and the American did the kicking.