Human Race Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

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What's the most oldest joke in the world?

The human race.

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

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Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What did the cat say to the human after being hit with a baseball bat?

Nothing. Cats don't freaking talk.

Why are dogs always thirsty?

Because water fountains were designed for humans! HEYOOOOOOO

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

How did a blind woman drive herself crazy?

A. Trying to read a stucco wall.

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?

A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak?

You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why should you separate something into 62 parts if you want to make it tiny?

Because sixty-seconds=minute.

When is being an "Alpha" not a good thing in the dating world?

When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well.

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you call a fight between a child molester and an illegal immigrant?

Alien versus Predator.

How did the alien tie his shoes?

With an astroknot.

Untie Jokes More Untie Jokes

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race?

He couldn't get a head.

What does a slave owner do with his slaves when he's finished with them?

Races 'em.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

How do you help someone with ADD or ADHD?

Send them to a concentration camp!