Human Race Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

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What's the most oldest joke in the world?

The human race.

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

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Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

Why are shopaholics so hard to help?

They can be very "clothes"-minded about the problem.

Garbage Collector Jokes More Garbage Collector Jokes

Why do programmers produce more garbage than others ?

Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector.

What do little pigs want to be when they grow up?

Garbage collectors.

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What does IS call the evolutionary theory that humans are descended from the ape family?

Boko Harambe

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?

A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

Why can't mites race in NASCAR?

Because mites make rights, not lefts.

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

because he chose from the kids menu

Who would you turn to face?

be careful with whom you chose

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

Why do Asian woman have small breasts?

Because her parents accept nothing less than an A.

Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?

A. So they can park in handicapped zones.

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Alien vs. Predator

What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm?

Take me to your breeder !

World Jokes More World Jokes

What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!"

What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world?

An ambulance