Java Jokes

What does it sound like when Java laughs?

Java -jar jar.jar

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the problem with Java jokes?

They have no .

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

What do you call an overweight star wars fanatic who drinks too much coffee?

Java the Hutt

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

Why do programmers drink coffee so much?

So they aren't lying when they say they like Java.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program

the rest of them will write Perl

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#.

Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?

Because they use a strongly typed language.

What did the Java code say to the C code?

You've got no class.

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Eclipse Jokes More Eclipse Jokes

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

How does a man on a moon get his haircut?

Eclipse it.

C Jokes More C Jokes

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not with c?

Because you can't see in the dark Badambum!

Why did the blind man's alphabet soup only have 25 letters in it?

Because he can't "C"

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many tweakers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

Perl Jokes More Perl Jokes

What's the I.T. guy's favorite pokemon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program

the rest of them will write Perl

Socket Jokes More Socket Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb?

Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself.

Glass Jokes More Glass Jokes

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

Java Programmer Jokes More Java Programmer Jokes

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#.