Marble Jokes

What's the difference between a truck full of marbles and a truck full of babies?

You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitchfork.

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Why was the little boy speaking gibberish?

Because he lost his marbles.

Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

What do you do with old cannon balls ?

Give them to elephants to use as marbles !

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite."

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say when he made his return?

Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns"

What would be Jesus' favorite gun?

A nail gun

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left?

You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the Calvinist say after he fell down the stairs?

Well, glad I got that over with."

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?

The girl necks door.

Birthday Cake Jokes More Birthday Cake Jokes

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?

Because it was marble cake!

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?

When it's been sliced.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?

Oc The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

What did the naturalist say when he saw a number of rocks covered in moss?

I'm lichen what I see"

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What did the pig say when his wife left him?

Don't go bacon my heart"

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

What do elephants use for tampons?

Sheep. Why do elephants have trunks? Sheep don't have strings.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do I submit a joke?

Do I hand my life in

Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school?

Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself.