Marble Jokes

What's the difference between a truck full of marbles and a truck full of babies?

You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitchfork.

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Why was the little boy speaking gibberish?

Because he lost his marbles.

Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

What do you do with old cannon balls ?

Give them to elephants to use as marbles !

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite."

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Little Boy Jokes More Little Boy Jokes

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him?

It only takes one nail to put him on a wall.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a sentinel with three hands?

A watchman.

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you use calculus in real life?

You integrate it

Why do console gamers use their in game names in real life?

They haven't got anti-aliasing.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What is The Rock going to name his Daughter?

Pebbles!

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives?

The guy gets fierious.

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

Why did Mrs. Quartz divorce Mr. Quartz?

He took her for granite.

Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated?

Because he thought people were taking him for granite.

David Jokes More David Jokes

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.