Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What do you call a wrecked Irishman?

A mashed potato.

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?

If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

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Now I've got to cut you.

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Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America.

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A **decaf**alon

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Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

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Gravy

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Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?

Because he was such a sloppy dresser.

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Everyone thinks it's 'R', but his first love be the 'C'.

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What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch?

Moo Mitch, get out the hay

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What do you call a battered Irish Man?

Mashed Potatoes.

Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

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What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?

A bud hound !

What does a child with stickers have in common with a cocaine addicted DJ?

They both love to scratch and sniff. (sorry if it's a repost I'm not here often)

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What do the Irish do after winning the world cup?

They proceed to Chapter 9: The Dark Mark

How many potatoes does it take to starve an Irish man?

None