Masterbate Jokes

What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

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What do you call a cow masterbating?

Beef stroganoff

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

What do you call 100 cows masterbating ?

Beef Strokenoff

What do you call a rapper who masterbates a lot?

Lil Wayne-ker

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

What do you call a masterbating cow?

Beef stroganoff

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD

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Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What do you call an aminoacid glued to an Australian?

A glutamate.

How do you call sons of australians and germans?

Men at Work

Cremate Jokes More Cremate Jokes

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

Moan Jokes More Moan Jokes

What's long, hard and makes a woman moan when erect?

An ironing board.

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?

One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.

Why is Helen Keller's leg yellow?

Her dog is also blind

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?

Between the two of us we can make a lot of money.

What's a good thing about a novelist conman?

He may have a lot of cons, but he also has a lot of prose.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk?

A mootation

How do you make beef stew?

Tell a cow they're being watched.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

Which rock band always wash their hands before a concert?

OCDC

Rapper Jokes More Rapper Jokes

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

What do you call a Rapper who smokes too much?

Tupac-aday