Masterbate Jokes

What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

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What do you call a cow masterbating?

Beef stroganoff

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

What do you call 100 cows masterbating ?

Beef Strokenoff

What do you call a rapper who masterbates a lot?

Lil Wayne-ker

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

What do you call a masterbating cow?

Beef stroganoff

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call a lamington that weighs a lot?

A lamingTON!

Why did the guy get aroused by the highway?

Because there were lots of turn ons.

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver?

Because she was a woman

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?

She left a plunger in the toilet

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do black's have white skin on the bottom of their feet and the palm of their hands?

Everyone needs a little bit of good inside them.

Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?

He never mentions "on the other hand"

Moan Jokes More Moan Jokes

What's long, hard and makes a woman moan when erect?

An ironing board.

Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

because she kept sitting on pinocchio's face moaning, "lie to me!"

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

Rapper Jokes More Rapper Jokes

Why do rappers love weed so much?

Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it

What do you call a rapper who's feeling bitter?

NaClmore

Xd Jokes More Xd Jokes

Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar?

Because they were Miners... XD

Why dont orphans like baseball?

Because they don't know were home is! XD