Meth Jokes

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

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How do meth users get the money to buy their drugs?

The toothfairy.

What has 100 legs and 3 teeth?

A centipede on meth.

What made the New Mexican sad?

He was out of meth.

What's a good gift for someone who has everything?

Meth. Next year they'll have nothing it'll be easier.

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

Why do so many white people do meth?

Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke meth?

Geek Squad

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

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3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What 3 candies do you find in school?

Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...?

Nothing... they were both made to steal American jobs.

Why are Mexicans bad at UNO?

They steal all the green cards.

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

x always equals 10

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

He was caught doing lines of math!

Good Thing Jokes More Good Thing Jokes

What's the best thing about a Boolean?

Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit.

Who knocks on doors at three in the morning?

It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

What do you call someone who likes speed?

Racist.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why is Kylo Ren so lonely all the time?

He's Ben Solo his whole life

Why am I just so naturally funny?

Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

How do like really laid-back types answer the phone?

Mellow.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.