Moo Jokes

What Does A Ghost Cow Say?

Moo!

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How many cow-lories does a cheeseburger have?

Moo many...

What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.

What lives on a farm and says moo?

a bilingual chicken

How do you make cultured milk?

You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already.

What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii?

Moo moos

What is the definition of "moon"?

The past tense of "moo"!

Why do cows need four legs to walk?

Because they lactose. Moo

What animal lives on the farm and says "moo"?

A bilingual chicken

What's a cow's favorite chemical?

molybdenum monoxide MoO

What does a cow ride when his car is broken?

A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did the cow say to the masked robber?

A: Moo.

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Why do cows moo?

A: Because their horns don't work.

Why did the cow cross the road?

Parent: "Wh-" Me: "Moo!"

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

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Moo York Times Jokes More Moo York Times Jokes

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

Why does Calvin Harris like reading fairy tales?

He loves a good happy ending

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of JD Salingers?

A Humble Hindi Bundle.

What do you call a group of dead, visually impaired people?

Horizontal blinds.

Happy Birthday Jokes More Happy Birthday Jokes

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Islamic Jokes More Islamic Jokes

What does Islamic extremists and skydivers have in common?

they're both Paris shooters

What do you call an Islamic mosquito?

A 'mosque-ito'.

Hawaii Jokes More Hawaii Jokes

How do you say hi to a Muslim in Hawaii?

Aloha Akbar.

Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?

Aloha Ackbar" doesn't go over well at the airport

Moo Hoo Jokes More Moo Hoo Jokes

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?

A cud thud!

What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?

A nerd herd!