Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call slapping hands with (5.5+1)/2?

A high phive! I'll see myself out now.

What do you call it when a man has a beer in each hand?

Irish handcuffs.

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?

The cookie!

What do you call a cookie without legs?

A cookie

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

How can you tell ignorance from indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It's a relephant.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What did cinderella do when she reached the ball?

She choked.

How did spider-man reach the inner city kids?

He web-slang

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why was Fernando Alonso upside down?

Because he Haas been hit!

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

Because the bus hit him.

Crumb Jokes More Crumb Jokes

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

What did John Lennon say when he got egg shells in his cake?

Yolko Oh-no

What if it all goes wrong and they clone millions of John Lennons?

Imagine all the people..