Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

What was the best thing Kurt Cobain ever released?

The safety.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs?

Two pirates

How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

A: He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

What's the only thing you can say when the Chinese Restaurant over booked your reservation?

Welp. You dim sum, you lose some

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

Hit him in the face with an axe

Why is your mom like a 360 noscope?

Cuz I wouldn't hit that.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

What is the monkey that can't peel the banana?

Terrible at CC