Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

Why'd the cookie go to the hospital?

It was feeling a little crumby.

What do ducks do at Christmas time?

They Duckerate cookies. ...lol...

Small Jokes More Small Jokes

What do you call a 7' 2" fortune teller in his underpants?

A large medium in smalls.

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you do when you lose your Kia car?

You go Soul-searching.

Why did Brazil lose the World Cup?

Weak back.

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

What does Fetty Wap buy when he goes to Walmart?

7 tees, 30 eggs

How do you get 30 drunk Americans out of the pool?

Allahu Akhbarrrr"

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

Why did John Lennon get shot?

because Mark Chapman was a terrible shot, and kept missing Yoko.

How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why do the French get high so fast?

Because they'll reach 420 before anyone else. Explanation: 80 is quatre-vingt in french and quatre=4 and vingt= 20.

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?

Meowch!"