Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Why did the nun always wear a slip?

Sheer habit.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why don't you go down on a girl first thing in the morning?

Haven't you ever peeled apart a hot grilled cheese sandwich?

What's the difference between an elephant and a banana ?

Have you ever tried to peel an elephant

Small Jokes More Small Jokes

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4?

They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Peewee Herman have in common?

They were both caught with hands in their drawers.

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

What did John Lennon say when he got egg shells in his cake?

Yolko Oh-no

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop?

She was hit by a bus

What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield?

It's rear end!

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why is American Airlines the best airlines company?

Because they are the only one to drop you directly to your office.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream?

The Holocaust.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What do North Korean weapons and T-Rex's have in common?

They both can't reach really far.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.