Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

Why can't dwarfs sing?

Because they can't reach the high notes. Bonus: how does dwarves communicate? Smalltalk.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

What was the best thing Kurt Cobain ever released?

The safety.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost.

Why did Oscar Pistorius lose his court case?

He hadn't got a leg to stand on.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why do people hit things (ex. TV, computer, etc.) when they don't work?

Well, it worked with the slaves.

What does it mean if holy water sizzles when it hits your skin?

I'm just asking for a friend)

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"

Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why did the banana put on sun-tan lotion?

A: To keep from peeling.

What is the monkey that can't peel the banana?

Terrible at CC

Crumb Jokes More Crumb Jokes

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down?

Crumbs!