Place Jokes

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking?

There's no place like OM.

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What is Nitrate?

Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!

How do you know if an Asian is depressed?

All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.

What is a crowbar?

A: A place were crows go to get a drink!

What did one horny whale say to the other?

Wanna humpback at my place

This joke may have profanity.

How is lightning like a violist's fingers?

A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to hold the bulb in place and 100 to spin the house around it.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?

Take your time, there's no Rush...

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Aim Jokes More Aim Jokes

What was the last thing that went through the Sandy Hook child's mind?

A bullet. I apologize if that joke was aimed for a younger audience. I love Sandy Hook jokes, they never get old. Just like those children.

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

North Korean Jokes More North Korean Jokes

What do North Korean weapons and T-Rex's have in common?

They both can't reach really far.

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

Safe Place Jokes More Safe Place Jokes

Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake?

A: a hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts

Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

Laundry Room Jokes More Laundry Room Jokes

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

What's the most racist place in a house?

The laundry room. It's the only place where the blacks have to be separated from the whites.

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

How are black people similar to tornadoes?

They both only take one to ruin a neighborhood.

What is a tornado ?

Mother nature doing the twist !

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

How did the Australian make the Olympics?

He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss

Why does the Olympic torch always start in Olympia?

Because it's hard to put out a Greece fire.