Stock Market Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

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How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?

Buy high sell higher.

What's the difference between the stock market and women?

With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.

Where is the best place to buy chicken broth?

at the stock market

Why was the hipster so successful in the stock market?

He invested before it was cool.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did Brazil lose the World Cup?

Weak back.

What do Apple and Rose have in common?

They both lost jack.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why don't feminists carry handguns?

Because of the triggers. I'm sorry

What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?

A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.

Marijuana Jokes More Marijuana Jokes

Why did the cow return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Japan Jokes More Japan Jokes

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

What are rich people called in Japan?

Milyennaires

Bull Jokes More Bull Jokes

What do you call it when the bull impales the bullfighter?

A hole in Juan!

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk?

Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave

What do you call the boss hit by a shrink ray?

Micromanagement!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking?

All of those guys already have boyfriends.

Why don't women need umbrellas?

Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

they were cooked in Greece

What do you call someone in the army that knows the capital of every country on earth?

General Knowledge