Swinge Jokes

Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

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What's more fun then swinging a baby on a clothes line?

Stopping it with a shovel.

What's more fun than swinging a dead baby by a string?

Stopping it with a shovel!

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

What's better than swinging a dead baby around a tether pole?

stopping it with a shovel

What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common?

Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside

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Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream?

She got hit by a bus. Sequel: Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream Someone threw a fridge at her.

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What is the difference between cancer and a Brazilian?

Cancer evolves, a Brazilian doesn't.

What will a blind, deaf child with no arms get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Lucy Jokes More Lucy Jokes

What did Aslan tell Lucy about the Witch and the Wardrobe?

It's Narnia business.

Why did Lucy fall off the monkey bars?

A: She's got no arms Me: Knock Knock Them: Whose there Me: Not Lucy.

Sarah Jokes More Sarah Jokes

Why did Sarah fall off the swing?

because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) ...not Sarah.

Why are you standing in front of the Gentlement Restroom?

Sarah kept silent.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call someone with no arms or legs?

Jeffrey. Knock knock, Who's there? NOT JEFFREY

What has four legs and says "hoe de doe, hoe de doe"?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs?

An apology.

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Joey Jokes More Joey Jokes

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Why did Joey fall of the swing?

Because he doesn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Joey.