Tom Jokes

What did Tom hanks do in the woods?

He took a forrest dump.

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What is Tom's favorite kind of joyride?

A cruise

What to you call an Eskimo peeping Tom?

Tommy Tookalook

What's a bear's favorite fruit?

Tom ( ). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug:

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

What do you call an Eskimo peeping tom?

Tukaluk

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Who's that running?

Not Tom

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

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What do you call a peeping Tom cat?

A Purrr-vert.

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ?

Mice cubes !

What do you call five tomatoes?

A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER.

Who ate those tomatoes?

Tom ate those.

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes ?

An Investigator.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why did the hipster decide to drown himself in the tributary?

He didn't want to be mainstream.

What do you call a woman drowning in money?

Rich... Also an ambulance.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep?

Their cicadan rhythm is off

Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep?

Because it has two shifts.

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

What did NATO say to the EU at the World Organization baseball game?

Europe!

How did the Mongols get to Europe?

Steppe by steppe.

Little Jimmy Jokes More Little Jimmy Jokes

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

Why did little Jimmy break open his computer?

It said that it had 20 cookies in it.

Eskimo Jokes More Eskimo Jokes

What do you call an Eskimo peeping tom?

Tukaluk

What do you call the secret Eskimo organization that controls the world?

The Igloominati.

Team Rocket Jokes More Team Rocket Jokes

Who makes the best Astronauts?

Team Rocket since they're always blasting off.

What does Team Rocket and a Peeping tom have in common?

They are both always trying to get a Pikachu.