Tom Jokes

What did Tom hanks do in the woods?

He took a forrest dump.

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What is Tom's favorite kind of joyride?

A cruise

What to you call an Eskimo peeping Tom?

Tommy Tookalook

What's a bear's favorite fruit?

Tom ( ). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug:

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

What do you call an Eskimo peeping tom?

Tukaluk

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Who's that running?

Not Tom

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

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What do you call a peeping Tom cat?

A Purrr-vert.

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ?

Mice cubes !

What do you call five tomatoes?

A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER.

Who ate those tomatoes?

Tom ate those.

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What do you call a midget clown that juggles?

A Juggalo

What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza?

Little Seizures...

Deflate Jokes More Deflate Jokes

Why is your blow up doll half deflated?

She was getting a little heavy.."

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the right testlcle say to the left?

Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard

What did the stuttering Mexican say to his friend when he tried to steal his food?

These are nacho-nachos.

Meter Jokes More Meter Jokes

What's the purpose of Barry Chuckle's job at British Gas?

To meter you.

How long is a meter in Spain?

A Spanard

Peep Jokes More Peep Jokes

What do you call an Eskimo who's a peeping tom?

Itookalook

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

What's the thing in common between your girlfriend starting the pill and the muisic group Europe?

It's the final condom... Ta da da da...

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

Plug Jokes More Plug Jokes

What did the cork say to the bottle?

If you don't behave yourself, I'll plug you.

How many plug-in air fresheners does it take to mask the decay of human flesh?

I'm asking for for a friend.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space?

Because he was scared of vacuums!