Uncle Jokes

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles

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What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs?

An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet...

Why was the little ant confused?

Because his uncles are aunts.

What's the opposite of the word uncle-off-her?

It's an aunt- -him.

Why was the ant so confused?

All of if its uncles are aunts!

Who lives in the green house?

Me: I don't know Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house? Me: The red guy Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house? Me: The blue guy Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house? Me: The yellow guy Her: Who lives in the white house? Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out: The black guy!!

What did the stormtrooper say when he was frying Luke's aunt and uncle?

I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning Beru.

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because all of it's Uncles were Aunts(Ants)

Why was the baby ant so confused?

Because all of his uncles were ants!

How do ants hide from aardvarks?

They disguise themselves as uncles!

Where is the fire at?

The man replies: it's back there, I'm just going to get the water! (This is a true story, my uncle really said this)

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How many r/jokes commenters does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know but that reminds me of a similar joke my uncle used to tell...

What does my Uncle and my account balance have in common?

I cry whenever I see them.

Why an Aunt?

I can understand why an Uncle would be in there.

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

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What do you call an instrument that gets a president impeached?

Harmonica Lewinsky.

What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife?

Who are you

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

What do Redditors always get confused by?

Seven.

Why are frogs no good at websurfing?

Computers have them toad-ily confused.

Aunt Jokes More Aunt Jokes

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

Why was the little ant confused?

Because his uncles are aunts.

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays?

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river?

Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

What did the blond girl say when she saw the car?

Answer: That's the lost one right there.

White House Jokes More White House Jokes

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?

A: Depends on how many were photographed.

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

What do ants drink?

Tea. It's an ant tea joke.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What did the reddit admins say to the mods?

This post was removed

What online image hosting service do puppies use to post their puppy pictures?

Imgrrrrrrr