Vegas Jokes

Why have no melons ever gotten married in Vegas?

Because they can't elope!

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Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

What does Tupak Shakur have in common with Lethal Weapon 4?

Both were shot in Vegas

What's the hottest hotel in Vegas?

The Cosmopolitan

What does Tupac Shakur and Oceans 13 have in common?

They were both shot in Vegas!

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

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Elope Jokes More Elope Jokes

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

Why couldn't the melon couple run off and get married?

Because they can't elope.

Rooster Jokes More Rooster Jokes

What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?

Boneless chicken.

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

Honeydew Jokes More Honeydew Jokes

Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

Why was the baby Honeydew sad?

Because it was Meloncholic

Large Fortune Jokes More Large Fortune Jokes

What is the most tried and true method to getting a small fortune?

Start out with a large fortune.

How do you make a small fortune in aviation?

Start out with a large fortune.

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

What happens when Niagara trips?

Niagara Falls

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Why did the Dalai Lama go to Las Vegas?

Tibet

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset