Vegas Jokes

Why have no melons ever gotten married in Vegas?

Because they can't elope!

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Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

What does Tupak Shakur have in common with Lethal Weapon 4?

Both were shot in Vegas

What's the hottest hotel in Vegas?

The Cosmopolitan

What does Tupac Shakur and Oceans 13 have in common?

They were both shot in Vegas!

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

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Fiancee Jokes More Fiancee Jokes

Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed?

Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me.

What did the network engineer give to his fiancee?

A token ring.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you call a flexible Rastafarian who lies a lot?

Cinnamon twist

What is Pink and lies on the doormat?

Whitney Houston's Valentines Day Cards

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How did Saddam deal with his leftovers?

He used sarin wrap

How much for this toaster?

An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers " "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What joke has recieved the most upvotes on Reddit?

Redditors.

Who laughs the last?

The one who you have to explain the joke to.

Tibet Jokes More Tibet Jokes

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea?

Nah. I'ma stay.

Theirs Jokes More Theirs Jokes

Why do women have cleaner minds than men?

Because they change theirs more often

What product of theirs is most commonly exported?

Newborn girls.

Rooster Jokes More Rooster Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster?

The rooster clucks defiance.

What shoes do roosters wear?

Chickenstocks

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do you call a fake psychic who was found out and now shoots up in ditches?

A high medium low

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.