Violist Jokes

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why don't violists play hide and seek?

A: Because no one will look for them.

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?

A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

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Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

What are you looking for buddy?

Normal day at the office, when one guy notices his coworker distraught. He goes over to his cubicle and sees him looking for something on the floor. They spend half an hour looking for it, when the guy starts picking his nose:

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why do gingers hang out with black people?

Because gingers have no soul, and black people have too much!

Where do the Mexican truckers hang out?

The guay station.

Musician Jokes More Musician Jokes

Why can you trust a musician?

Because he always gives sound advice. Ba dum tsss.

How did the musician catch his fish?

He castanet

Sympathizer Jokes More Sympathizer Jokes

What's the difference between terrorists and tourists?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

Why don't matches play baseball?

A: One strike, and they're out.

What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning?

He was conducting.

Position Jokes More Position Jokes

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

because they spend too much time with the x-position

Which positions does a violist use?

A: First third and emergency.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why arent the americans playing chess?

they are missing two towers.

What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player?

One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.

Retrain Jokes More Retrain Jokes

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

It takes too long to retrain them.

Why do blondes work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.