Violist Jokes

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

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Why don't violists play hide and seek?

A: Because no one will look for them.

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?

A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

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What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East?

Tuesday.

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?

A thought.

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What's the difference between terrorists and tourists?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

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What do you call a terrorist on vacation?

Aloha ackbar

What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building?

C4 yourself!

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds.

Why did they arrest the musician?

He got into treble.

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What's the point?

You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make Don't answer that.

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

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What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?

A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Where's your buccaneers?

The pirate responds, "tucked inside my buck'n hat!!"

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Why can't America ever win a chess tournament?

Because they're missing two towers

What do you call a missing psychic midget?

A small medium at large.

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Where do David Cameron and his party meet?

In the Conservatory!

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.