Work Jokes

What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common?

They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a stoner working at a repair shop?

High maintenance

What's the similarity between communism and a pencil?

They both only really work on paper

What's the difference between healthcare.gov and Derrick Rose?

Healthcare.gov was broken and now it works.

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

How about an app that keeps track of every working automatic paper towel dispenser in the world?

All seven or eight of them.

What happened to the NSFW warning on r/Jokes?

It stopped working like all those who got caught on reddit at work.

This joke may have profanity.

Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?

Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance

What is a baby's dream job?

Working at a winery.

Why don't some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don't work out.

What secret society do strippers work for?

The Illuminaughty.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

Because it's all play.

Why did all the native people move out East?

Because there is no work out there.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

Want to hear a joke about construction?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

What's the best thing about elevator jokes?

They work on so many levels.

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the best animal related joke you know?

These jokes should be any jokes that are even vaguely related to animals!

Who invented rhetorical questions?

How should I know?

Trash Jokes More Trash Jokes

How much time does a black woman takes to take out the trash?

9 months

Why do black people put their trash out in clear plastic bags?

So that the Puerto Ricans can window-shop.

Succeed Jokes More Succeed Jokes

Who succeeded the first President of the USA ?

The second one !

Why will the ghost never succeed in life?

He's too eeriesponsible!!!!

Vengeance Jokes More Vengeance Jokes

What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance?

Goose Rider

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

Why is it so hard to get into a relationship with an SJW?

Because they have high double standards.

What is a relationship?

It's the one that always sinks....

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How did you meet daddy?

Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...

What is the best part of having Alzheimer's?

Youre always meeting new people.

Stripper Jokes More Stripper Jokes

What do you call a stripper you pay with noodles?

A PASTATUTE!!!

Where do strippers go on holiday ?

Poland

Mexican Guy Jokes More Mexican Guy Jokes

Why'd the Mexican guy have to take xanax?

Because of hispanic attacks..

What do you call two Mexican guys playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.