Zombie Apocalypse Jokes

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

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Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.

What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse?

Meals on wheels...

Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse?

The end of DayZ

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Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

Why didn't they use Black Phosphorous?

It doesn't work.

Disabled Person Jokes More Disabled Person Jokes

What do you call a disabled person committing a drive by?

Handicappn.

What's the definition of awful?

Putting a bomb on a disabled person's back and telling him to run.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

They're really good at it.

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

Brain Jokes More Brain Jokes

What has more brains then Paul Walker?

The steering wheel...

What do you call a person with no brain?

A no-brainer

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

Why do big trucks have nuts on the trailer hitch, but no shaft?

Because the prick's behind the wheel

What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ?

That hit the spots !

What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse?

Meals on wheels...

End Jokes More End Jokes

What does a WoW player with tubercolosis say when he ends a conversation?

TBC

What do you call it when you thrust a hairy pole in and out of your mouth, and at the end you spit out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth!

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

How do you shut up a deaf person?

Punch them in the hands.