What is the definition of torque?

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

What is the definition of torque?

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

Whats the problem with running through a field of dead babies?

Your erection....

What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls?

It was low hanging fruit.

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

Who, dad?

Your dog, son. I hit your dog with the car.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink?

M: Linda.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome."

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What would be different if men got pregnant?

Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning?

Because she has two faces.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of a mere myth?

A pirate ship thailing clothe to an itheberg

What's the definition of Parity?

Two parrots exactly the same!

Torque Jokes More Torque Jokes

Why was the car engine so loud, but the rest of the car terrible?

Because torque is cheap

What did the Mexican Physicist have for Thanksgiving Dinner?

Torque

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ?

The deceased !

What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome?

If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was sheet faced.

Why are the majority of school shooters white?

Because the black kids don't wanna get kicked off the basketball team.

Leak Jokes More Leak Jokes

What did Kellyanne Conway say about the leaked e-mails?

They're just alternate fax.

What is the definition of torque?

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.

Bend Jokes More Bend Jokes

What sort of an act do you do?

I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.

How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it