Cast Jokes

Why couldn't Barbie get pregnant?

Because they cast Amy Schumer and Ken couldn't get the job done.

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What do you cast a containment device out of element 28 in?

A: MOVIES!

Who did they cast as the Hulk"s dog?

Bark Roofalo

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

What mythological monster casts no reflection?

A: All of them.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

Why didn't Peter Jackson cast any black actors in The Lord Of The Rings?

He was afraid they wouldn't be taken on their merits, that they'd just be seen as Tolkien blacks.

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends?

The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.

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What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

What's the reason Bollywood Cast parties are awkward?

They think Cast is spelled with an e.

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

Whatever for?

Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.

Why did the dog say he was an actor?

His leg was in a cast.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

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Ken Jokes More Ken Jokes

How do you see if the Ken doll is ticklish?

Give him test tickles.

What did Ryu say to Ken?

HOWAREYOUKEN?!

Hehe Jokes More Hehe Jokes

What's the best part of an ISIS joke?

The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now.

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

Element Jokes More Element Jokes

What are the four elements?

Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element.

What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium! I'll see myself out now...

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call a half elephant, half rhinoceros?

An abomination.

What is so bad about being half black and half asian?

You can steal a car but you can't drive it.

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

How do you spell no?

Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)

How do you spell Mississippi?

Redneck: Which one The river or the state

Humor Jokes More Humor Jokes

What's a Jackhammer's Best Friend?

Cast Steel! Bahahahahah! You know! Cause it has a poor dampening value it vibrates so much! They um. They both vibrate. Well ok. One vibrates, the other reciprocates. That's kinda... Hehe. Heh. Reciprocate my humor damn it!

What molecule has the best sense of humor?

A helium polymer. HeHeHeHeHe

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

Why Don't Black People like Country Music?

Because everytime theres a Hoedown, they think one of their sisters got shot.

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'