Checkmate Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

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Why can't you checkmate a christian?

Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech?

Checkmate!

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Who's there ! Checkmate ! Checkmate who ?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank !

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Aslan tell Lucy about the Witch and the Wardrobe?

It's Narnia business.

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What do ladies-of-the-night do when in their garden?

They hoe it.

Why are none talking in the ladies sauna?

They are sitting on their lips!

King Jokes More King Jokes

Who is the king of the pencil case?

The Ruler

Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?

A. Limp Bizkit. (limp biscuit) (Alternate: What do the British call a cookie that got wet )

What are eight small pieces of cookie the equivalent of?

One byte

Bounce Jokes More Bounce Jokes

What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates?

Out of bounce.

What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea?

Bouncing on a buoy (boy)

Opponent Jokes More Opponent Jokes

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

How did the OBGYN win the election?

He was able to stirrup some controversy about his opponent with his effective smear campaign.

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

What is the difference between someone who worships God &amp someone who worships the sun?

The sun exists.

Why have human fossils never been found in Iran?

Because homos in Iran do not exist.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

Make it Wayne.

What shall we do with all these letters begging for money?

the woman asks her husband. "Keep sending them!"