Checkmate Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

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Why can't you checkmate a christian?

Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech?

Checkmate!

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Who's there ! Checkmate ! Checkmate who ?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank !

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Baker Jokes More Baker Jokes

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

King Jokes More King Jokes

Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

A: Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

Why couldn't you trust the king of the jungle?

He was a lion.

Czech Jokes More Czech Jokes

Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women?

A: He wanted a Czech mate.

Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda?

The Czech engine light is always on.

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

A Christian bail

What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

A: Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do you call a good looking tractor?

Attractor

Why did the black guy wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse."

How do deaf people meet online?

Simple, they just ask "ASL?"

Bounce Jokes More Bounce Jokes

What sound does a bouncing plane make?

Boeing boeing boeing

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How many pork chops does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know it's lard to tell.

What did Batman tell Robin before Robin got in the car?

Hey Robin get in the car"!